Special Issue: Mega Meganthology
Skim Coats by Amy Barnes

There’s a beach ball in the apartment toilet. The realtor lady points at anything but the stuffed potty. I’m three-years-old and have never seen a beach.

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Teaching the Dog to Speak French by Karen Jones

I talk to my rescue Yorkshire Terrier in silly accents. French is my favourite: “Mon dieu! Zees eez a very big poo you’ve done, Fifi chien!” She doesn’t seem to mind – after a while she just goes to bed and sleeps.

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This House by Audra Kerr Brown

Mom and HerBoyfriendChip say we got this house real cheap because something bad happened here. Before we go in, us kids ask if it’s haunted, and Mom says even if chairs stack themselves and walls bleed, we’re better off living here than in that catpiss apartment with the Lopers.

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Ugly Thing by Claire Polders

I’m taking the kitchen table, because you don’t remember how we hauled it together in sweating harmony from the Queen’s Day secondhand market through the celebrating streets to our first home.

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Rosetta Post-its by Guy Biederman

Los Gatos Tienen Hambre, says the post-it on the fridge. Since when did the cats learn Spanish, since when did they learn to write? The same could be asked of you, says another post-it.

Gallows Pole by Kathy Hoyle

In the dead of summer, while the whiptails hide in sagebrush shadows, and everything blisters in the amber heat and there ain’t nothin but buzzards hummin for miles around, a hanged man dances on a gallows pole.

After by Claudia Monpere

and after and after and nothing changes, just the names of the children. This one drew birds wearing hats. That one had an orange juice popsicle for an imaginary friend.

Glass Flamingos by Catherine Roberts

I smash them all. Because who the fuck collects glass flamingos? Around me, pink shards sparkle in the carpet like pretty vomit.

Pet Shop Boys by Tim Craig

Dayne’s on-off-off-on stepdad, Kel, says stay away from that new pet shop.