Special Issue: Mega Meganthology
Skim Coats by Amy Barnes

There’s a beach ball in the apartment toilet. The realtor lady points at anything but the stuffed potty. I’m three-years-old and have never seen a beach.

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Teaching the Dog to Speak French by Karen Jones

I talk to my rescue Yorkshire Terrier in silly accents. French is my favourite: “Mon dieu! Zees eez a very big poo you’ve done, Fifi chien!” She doesn’t seem to mind – after a while she just goes to bed and sleeps.

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This House by Audra Kerr Brown

Mom and HerBoyfriendChip say we got this house real cheap because something bad happened here. Before we go in, us kids ask if it’s haunted, and Mom says even if chairs stack themselves and walls bleed, we’re better off living here than in that catpiss apartment with the Lopers.

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Ugly Thing by Claire Polders

I’m taking the kitchen table, because you don’t remember how we hauled it together in sweating harmony from the Queen’s Day secondhand market through the celebrating streets to our first home.

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Glass Flamingos by Catherine Roberts

I smash them all. Because who the fuck collects glass flamingos? Around me, pink shards sparkle in the carpet like pretty vomit.

Prudence by Christy Stillwell

They put the shock collar on the boy and that was it for the nanny. First they put the collar on one another. They were professors in English and Philosophy, all of them smart people.

Pet Shop Boys by Tim Craig

Dayne’s on-off-off-on stepdad, Kel, says stay away from that new pet shop.

Grief Sandwiches by Lucas Flatt and Travis Flatt

I’m in the elevator with the angel.
“I’m hungry,” I say.
“You can eat peanut butter again.”
My mother hated the smell of peanut butter. As kids, my brother and I got it all over everything. Mom said it smelled to her like dogshit.

Mom’s new boyfriend is a liver fluke by Cole Beauchamp

He attached quickly (can I buy you a drink, let’s hook up, sure I’ll meet your kid), slid into our house unnoticed (toothbrush here, pair of socks there) and two months on, here we are, host and Fasiola Herpatica.